Several years ago, I was introduced to the concept of the hula hoop. No, not the toy we all played around with in our childhood years. This is the idea that figuratively, we all have a hula hoop and it represents the things in life that are ours to concern ourselves with and what we have control over. I can’t remember where I read it or heard it but it made an impact on me. I’ve used it over and over again in my personal life and parenting life. I suppose “stay in your own lane” is another way to put it however the hula hoop has stuck with me more.

Hula hoops in parenting

This has been the best concept during my parenting years because kids can visualize it so easily. How often have you heard your kids squabling and you try to approach the situation only to be met with a lot of finger pointing? Or the oh so common, “its not fair” phrase comes flying at you. Maybe its circumstances at school among friend groups. Over the years I’ve found myself using the example of the hula hoop with my kids while discussing an issue.

It seems that its our human tendency to get lost in details that aren’t ours to concern ourselves with. I believe that graciously teaching our kids that not everything is within their control, or their “hula hoop”. How others might react to a request to stop doing something…not their hula hoop. What someone else has…not their hula hoop. To this day, even though my kids are big, when we find ourselves in a situation where the drama is swirling, and they are bothered I will ask them, “what part of this is in your hula hoop”. If nothing else, it helps kids to slow down, take a step back and learn to evaluate a situation.

Hula hoops in adult life

The hula hoop, stay in your lane, concept shows up regularly in adult life just as much a kid life. We’ve probably all had the experience of someone in our life treating us badly. When we try to put a boundary in place or ask them to stop, they are less than gracious in response. In these circumstances, for me, staying in my hula hoop has meant recognizing that I cannot control that person’s response. I can decide to not let it cause undue stress and I can stand my ground in my request. How they respond is not part of whats in my hula hoop. Depending on your personality type, this may be harder or easier. Its worth saying that I believe kindness and grace should always be used.

Within motherhood, we can tend to try to do it all, forgetting that sometimes, we need to delegate to others whether it be our kids or our partners. My oldest put me in my place the other day in the funniest way. We were discussing her dorm decor and she said, “Mom, I think you care way more about this than we do”. I had unintentionally stuffed the responsibility of making sure she had great dorm room decor in my hula hoop. Newsflash, it had no business being there. I let that one go real fast! 🙂

Hula hoops in the news world

The world feels a little messy and overwhelming to me lately. The news has probably left most of us feeling a bit sideways. I have definitely had to stay in my lane, mentally speaking. In an election year that feels like the bucking bull at the rodeo I’ve had to ask myself what is in my hula hoop? What do I have control over and what is not mine to worry about. Sharon McMahon is one of my favorite people on the internet and I highly recommend her as a news source. We cannot let the news steal our joy or cause undo stress. Decide carefully what belongs in your hula hoop as it is truly impactful in this area.

At the end of the day, I feel like the hula hoop concept boils down to choosing joy and fighting for joy. It involves awareness and intentionality. Two things that, as an ennagram 9, I’m not always great at. (If you missed our post on the ennagram, you can find it here.) However, it is always worth work and hopefully brings greater peace to our lives.

Happy hula hooping

Sarah