If you’ve ever shared a space with another person…and most of us have at some point in our lives, then you probably have a lot of thoughts when you consider shared space. Much of how we feel about shared space depends on our personality type. As an ennagram 9 with a strong 1 wing (read our thoughts on the ennagram here if you missed it) and as someone who is mostly type A, I’ve always preferred very organized and ascetically pleasing spaces. This will never change but mother hood has certainly changed and challenged me in this regard

Type A childhood

I was always fortunate enough to have my own bedroom when I was growing up. Nothing displayed the differences in the personalities of my sister and I more than our bedroom spaces. Even as a small child, I loved my room to be tidy, organized and loved “styling” my dresser with my favorite items.

I will never forget the time when I received a tinkerbell set which included a body powder that I greatly cherished. My younger sister who was probably about 4 at the time quietly went in my room one day and proceeded to “dust” the entire room with my beloved tinkerbell body powder. There is photo evidence in a box somewhere but I was horrified. It was a mess and all my powder was now gone. Fast forward to the teenage years and I have memories of my room always being quite tidy and picked up, while my sister’s room was the cliche teenage room with clothes and all the things strewn about.

College neat freak

The neat freak personality didn’t change when college rolled around. I was thankful to somehow always be paired with roommates who also enjoyed an organized space. I remember my freshman year I lived in a quad style dorm and in the room across the hall from me, one of the girls always had a mountain high pile of clothes in the corner. Somehow she always cleaned it up for room inspection and then it would grow back again. It was a good giggle but I think she had a great time. Even back then I had some understanding that for me, clean organized space = a feeling of peace and rest.

Theres no A in motherhood

Motherhood challenged my neat freak tendencies in every way. Maybe not as much at first. Wrangling one baby is doable, but any mom of multiples will tell you once you are outnumbered…well maybe thats when God does His finest work. I’ve always been more of a minimalist in regard to toys and kids items, plus we moved often enough when the girls were small so we didn’t accumulate stuff. But once they started to grow up I noticed a shift. When they were toddlers, of course they would play and make messes but it all seemed very containable. As the girls grew, they became more independent in the kitchen and bathroom, and laundry room. Suddenly they occupy and use more areas of the house than ever before. I couldn’t keep up. It happens gradually and I have found that this is a phase of teaching in a new way and mustering new levels of patience.

As a single parent, I only have so much time and energy. Over the years I have resigned to many spaces of my home not looking the way I prefer. Our home is well used and lived in on a daily basis. I think this would have driven a younger version of me insane. If I’m honest, sometimes it still does and I make everyone pause and focus on various tasks to bring order back to our home. But over all, my type A-ness has leveled out to a very chill A- and maybe even a slide into the type B zone in some areas.

Make your sane spaces

Deep down I will always have a love for organized and visually appealing spaces. I have found small ways of doing this through my parenting years. Enter my spice drawer. I think I spotted my inspiration back in 2020 when we were all on the brink of losing our minds. Spices in uniform containers with beautiful labels, alphabetically organized and laid out for ease of use. It was a project I could tackle and I knew it would bring my type A heart joy AND my kids wouldn’t mess with it. WIN! I highly recommend every mom has these small sane spaces just for themselves. Kimberly and I have both organized our spices and enjoy it to this day. It may sound silly but it really is the small things!

Motherhood is hard. It changes us and challenges us in the best ways and the hardest. We grow as our kids grow and yet there will always be pieces of us that remain true to who we are at our core. Finding ways to honor those parts of ourselves is worth exploring and honoring. Even when it comes in the form of a spice drawer.

Cheers to finding your sane spaces.

XO

Sarah