I (Kimberly) learned about the enneagram through a podcast show I listen to called Don’t Mom Alone. I went through a season of my littles, specifically when my second was a baby, that I craved the words of this podcast host. She was consistently encouraging and also consistently reminding me that I was not alone because the Holy Spirit was with me and that was a super power! I had never thought about mom-ing in that light before. So as she mentioned the enneagram in a particular episode, I was highly intrigued because of how she used it to know herself and give grace to others. I know as a first time new mom I had strong opinions about how life should be with my baby and did every little thing I could to make her life perfect….feeding schedule, sleep schedule, no sugar until the first birthday, tummy time, “back to sleep”, outside time, singing songs, no tv, read books all the books and the list goes on, everything but the cloth diapers for me. But I did try once…

All that to say when baby number 2 came along my control of perfection in motherhood was crumbling. I suddenly felt spread so thin.  A: because I had two babies 18 months apart. B: second baby was wildly different from the first and didn’t fit the same mold. C: my marriage was suffering because of my strong opinions and perfectionist ways. My husband wasn’t fitting my mold in this motherhood journey either. 

I bought the book The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and again craved the words in this book. I needed not to take a test because as I read type 1, I felt like I was reading a blueprint of my life. A literal blueprint of my soul was jumping off the pages. And then to my other surprise as I read type 7 my husband was jumping off the page. We are both blueprints of these numbers. I am introverted, love structure and rhythm, I have the drive to be right and moral,  and avoid confrontation at all costs.  My husband  is the social butterfly, fly by the seat of his pants, energizer bunny that never runs out of battery, and devils advocate on just about any topic you can talk about. You wonder how we got together right? That is the easy part, I go to 7 in growth and love a good time when I am in a good place. So when we met and I was single without children, we had quite a bit of fun and got to do whatever we wanted aka triathlons. I always say that I reel him in a little and he reels me out, ha! The talk of the week in our early years was what bike group was riding where, and a Saturday bike ride filled both our cups. I got in a good workout and he got in his social buzz. I didn’t have a messy house all the time and could nicely tame my husband’s shoes, clothes and bathroom sink. But as we all know, parenting brings out our toxic traits wreaking havoc on the mind and making us all think we are crazy. I mean we try to reason with 2 year olds about why the banana broke or tell our 3 year olds they should know better than to pee on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet. We say goo goo gah gah all day and make silly faces, play peek a boo, and sing wheels on the bus go round and round and round and round. All of these things are beautiful and part of the lovely life that we get to live, but you know what I mean when I say our toxic traits come alive. So with all that to say, after baby #2 arrived I had to do some soul searching and truly look at my life. I always say the enneagram saved my life, but truly the Lord used it as a tool to speak light into what I needed to hear at the time. I felt like a light was shed onto my intense resentment, pent up anger, and most of all my hyper focused inner critic that would chew me up and spit me out to leave me downtrodden and in quite the moods. Once I read about type 1 and learned my strengths, weaknesses and the root of my inner motivation, I suddenly began to breathe again. The Lord met me in those dark places of my soul and continuously said, I made you, I love you, and I am walking with you in your story of motherhood. Life is always a journey and I cannot say that I feel like I have arrived, but the soul searching has helped me to hold loosely the children that have been given to me to know that I am truly not in control of their lives. There is another enneagram specialist out there and her name is Beth McCord, The Enneagram Coach. She has a book coming out in July called the Enneagram for Moms. I am very excited to read this book. Being students of our children is one thing, but truly knowing your own self is the best way to be the truest mother for our children. 

Giving grace to others has been and is the most humbling part. I found out that I struggle with the inner motivation to always be right, good, and perfect. Anybody else? However, once you get to know someone and understand their inner motivation life becomes this beautiful tapestry. Again I am still not the best at always giving grace and my husband can tell you that. Overall, the enneagram has become a good tool to help me understand myself, give grace to others and lean into the fullness of who Christ made me to be. 

In other news, we officially moved one year ago yesterday! I simply cannot believe it has been one whole year! We have settled into our new town, neighborhood, school, and church, but I still feel unsettled with our house. My mind twirls with things to do or make small improvements or to add personal touches with decor, but that is homeownership in a nutshell. Especially for my “1” brain that likes to make things just so. I make comments such as, “the sun room needs painting because the walls are so grungy” and my husband looks at me funny because he thinks the walls are fine. That’s us in a nutshell. Contentment vs Perfectionism. I do envy him at times, alot of times actually because he has the gift of contentment and an amazing ability to move on after a contentious conversation. 

Another area I struggle in my enneagram number is my health. I thrive in working towards being a healthy human being. But, as many of you read in my blog post about my perimenopause journey and the diagnosis of osteoporosis, sometimes genetics ultimately win and control is lost. So just when I was becoming more “comfortable” in my skin with being a mother my health world exploded. I have entered into a world of brain fog, weak bones, and waking up hot in the mornings. Thankfully I’m not sweating anymore but your giggle of the day is that my butt is on fire almost every morning. I don’t know what it is about my bum, but it is burning. Who knew? Cheers to the enneagram! We hope you look into it or use it for the good. Leave us a comment and tell us your number 🙂 

XO,

Kimberly