Recently Sarah shared a podcast with me from the Raising Boys and Girls Podcast with hosts Sissy Goff and David Thomas. The guest that day was Kelly Corrigan. I honestly did not know who Kelly Corrigan was, but you can find her here. The whole conversation was fascinating from the dried carrots and hummus to the stark reality that our teenage kids will know more than we do, and her kindness towards parents in how to say less and ask questions of our children.

Carrots and Hummus

My desire for my little girls is to find our home a haven of peace and to be the place to bring friends. I want our home to be the place to hang out, eat dinner, sleep over, etc. Hospitality needs to exude from our doors and windows! In this podcast Kelly speaks of always having carrots and hummus in her refrigerator, dried carrots at that. The whole conversation around the carrots and hummus was a big giggle, but the bottom line is that she always had something in her refrigerator for her children to snack on or share with a friend. Even something as simple as carrots and hummus built a memory and a rhythm that made someone feel welcome and loved.

I have memories of my childhood house being that hang out place. I remember my oldest brother bringing his band friends over and hearing the laughter as they played the game of Twister. My middle brother had his basketball friends over. A vivid memory comes to mind after my middle brother went on a guys hiking trip that ended at our house. The night ensued with a guitar playing to the tune of Hey Ya by Outkast. I had two biological brothers, but several brothers by other mothers just because our house was that place and everyone felt comfortable with Mama T (my mother’s pet name from several teenage boys.)

They Know More

Kelly continues to speak of how our kids always know more than we do. The specific topic of conversation was of college. Now my kids are far from college at this time, but Sarah is in the thick of college age kiddos. She can empathize with Kelly on these sentiments of our kids always knowing more. We think we know more and rightfully so, but we have gained that wisdom over our many years of life. Our kids don’t want to know how life was back then. They are being fed constant information about college, how to apply, what classes to take, what clubs to be in, etc. etc. In truth, they do know more about the process today and sometimes we have to sit back and listen to them or let them take the reigns.

Our kids may know more sometimes, but the iteration of the word know also poses the question, do we know our kids? I think parenting is the ultimate self sacrifice of servanthood. Service not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Say Less, Ask Questions

Kelly is really good at asking questions. So good that she is a TV host of the show Tell Me More on PBS. She believes as parents we need to be the best question askers. Sometimes we feel like we have so much to offer to our kids, but when we say our speech it tends to go sideways. How do we say less and ask questions. The best line in this whole podcast is her three prompts she gives us parents to practice with our kiddos. Tell me more, what else, go on; Tell me more, what else, go on; Tell me more what else, go on. I have memorized this phrase and try to use it daily with my kiddos.

Instead of coming in on the defense or taking a “because I said so” stance, I truly try to grow my kids in their capability in expressing their reasoning. My patience is spread very thin most days in dealing with big emotions, but if I let my emotions get the best of me I feel even worse. Biting our tongues is hard not only in parenting, but in life. I can tell you I am not perfect by any means and am always a work in progress.

I pray you find some encouragement in this blog post as well as the podcast to know that we are not alone in parenting, we all have different children to parent, and we all need to know we are doing a good job. Till next time.

XO,

Kimberly